


this is not what you're supposed to see

by joshlerjun



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Self Confidence Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-06
Updated: 2015-01-06
Packaged: 2018-03-06 10:45:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 452
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3131669
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/joshlerjun/pseuds/joshlerjun
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>this is not what you're supposed to see<br/>please, remember me. I am supposed to be<br/>king of a kingdom, or swinging on a swing</p>
            </blockquote>





	this is not what you're supposed to see

Tyler's sitting on the bathroom floor, his knees pulled up to his chest. There's a blade on the floor, by his shoes. He knows he should move when he hears footsteps.

He doesn't though. His arms and legs all feel fixated into one place. He can't move.

The door opens, and Tyler instinctively holds grab of the blade; jolting up onto his feet as he does so.

"Tyler?"

Tyler only just has time to realise who it is. 

It's his best friend, staring back at him with fear and anguish in his eyes.

"Don't come any closer!' Tyler begs.

He stumbles backwards, until he has no further to stumble; his back pressed up against the bathroom wall. He wishes he could fall through it.

"Tyler, please," Josh pleads, "put down the blade."

"You're going to tell everyone," Tyler whimpers, and he grips on tighter to the blade as he says it; an action that makes Josh's heart race.

"Tyler, I won't tell anyone," Josh replies.

"Why should I believe you?"

Josh hesitates.

"Do you love me?"

"Yes," Tyler replies; almost instantly. 

"Well, would it surprise you if sometimes I said I didn't love myself?"

"But, you're Josh," Tyler chokes, "my best friend-"

"Then you will understand that I love you, even though you don't love you."

Tyler shakes his head.

"What are you trying to say?"

"Imagine me in your position," Josh says, "Imagine me with a blade in my hand. Picture me, standing there, frightened like you are now. Shaking, like a whimpering dog, and telling you I don't love myself."

There's a pause.

"What does that make you think?" Josh asks.

"That-" Tyler gulps, "-God, I love you, Josh. No. No. No. I don't want to see you like that. I care too much. I-"

"And so do I, when you are the way you are now."

Tyler looks down at the blade; thoughtfully.

"Your mind is being deceitful," Josh says, "because, if you were all those bad things you thought you were, and I were all these bad things I think I am, sometimes, then, do you ever wonder why we have people begging us not to hurt ourselves when we think these things?"

Tyler drops the blade.

Josh relaxes. Relief rushes through his body.

"Josh, I'm sorry," he says, stepping away from the blade, eagerly; as if it were a poisonous object.

Josh races towards Tyler, pulling him into a tight hug. 

Tyler sobs on his shoulder.

"I'm so sorry," he repeats.

"Don't be," Josh says, sternly. 

He cups Tyler's head gently in the back of his hand as it lolls against his shoulder.

"I love you," he whispers into his ear, "and one day you will too."


End file.
